


What happened next: kiss #1

by BlackBandana



Category: Berena - Fandom, Holby City
Genre: F/F, Post episode s18e47, Protect and Serve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-26 06:21:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9871277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackBandana/pseuds/BlackBandana
Summary: What happened next after kiss #1. A little one shot post *that* scene in s18e47 Protect and Serve.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm never happy with the endings of Berena scenes. And with Bernie AWOL last night I thought I'd try and cheer myself up with a little exploring what might've happened after the first kiss.

There they were on the theatre floor, grasping onto each other as if their lives depended on it. Bernie hadn't intended on kissing Serena at all. She might have allowed herself the indulgence of thinking about it once, but it was only once and oh so very briefly because her rational, logical must-be-in-control-at-all-times mind regained control almost immediately and told her heart to stop acting like a silly lovestruck hormonal teenager for goodness sake!! But there they were. And it just happened. Their friend and colleague was fighting for his life and it just happened. Serena had just told her she was the most fantastic, fearless doctor in the entire hospital...she was being so incredibly sincere and the look in her eyes...it just happened. And it surprised Bernie herself as much as it did Serena. 

 

•°•°•

 

The blonde trauma surgeon pulled back, her eyes desperately trying to read the look she saw on Serena's face. Was she shocked? Probably. She didn't look horrified...oh oh ohhh before she had chance to analyse further her thoughts were interrupted as the brunette launched herself back towards her to resume the kiss, and this time there was no hesitancy on either side. It was still a closed mouth kiss they shared (neither one brave enough to cross THAT bridge so soon) but it was hot and needy and it felt as though they really couldn't get close enough. There wasn't a breath of air between them as their noses bashed together and they both grasped hold of whatever they could get hold of...Serena had handfuls of Bernie's scrub sleeves as if she could somehow transmute the laws of physical matter and metamorphise through the clothes and skin that covered Bernie's body and inhabit the same cellular space, share the very DNA that made Bernie Bernie. Bernie couldn't stop her hands finding their way up to Serena's neck, winding the fingers of her right hand around her ear and in to her hairline while her left hand hooked around the back of the brunette's head pulling her as close as she possibly could. 

Seconds passed...minutes flew by... neither of them aware of how much time had passed while they were snogging on the floor of theatre 1, but suddenly they heard the door to the side room open and voices of the next operating team.

They jumped apart and scrambled to their feet, probably quicker than either of them should have given their age and lack of anything resembling nutrition since breakfast too early that morning.

"Uh..." Bernie struggled to find her voice whilst she steadied herself on the wall, unsure if the dizziness she was experiencing was a result of what just happened or if it was simple postural hypotension from leaping up so quickly. She found herself staring fixatedly at the floor tile next to Serena's left foot, purposely avoiding the gaze that she knew would be asking so many wordless questions. She cleared her throat and tried again. 

"I uh...w-we...we should go?" She gestured towards the door with her head and hands as she managed to get her words out before she had to take a deep breath. Was it just her or was it getting really hot in there? The incoming operating team clattered some equipment in the side room and the unexpected noise brought Serena back to her senses from gazing rather intensely at the blond before her.

"What?...oh yes yes of course...let's go and get changed!" She said brightly, smiling warmly as she stepped round Bernie and opened the main theatre door. 

"After you..." She held the door open and waited for Bernie, who was still rooted to the spot, staring at that same tile on the floor. 

"... Bernie?" her voice softer this time. No movement. She took a step back into the room and touched the blonde so very lightly on the arm. That seemed to do the trick as Bernie turned around and silently left the operating theatre, still resolutely refusing to make eye contact with the woman who was the sole reason her life was flipping upside down. 

They walked down the long winding corridors of the hospital but didn't say a word. To anyone walking by they would look like two colleagues walking together in amiable silence, just like any other day. But it wasn't any other day. And it didn't feel like an amiable silence either. 

The cacophony of hospital life could often be an infuriating distraction to anyone trying to get some important paperwork done or make a phonecall to a concerned relative, but today the incessant noise was a welcome relief from the whirlwind of thoughts that plagued both their minds as they made their way back to the locker room to change. 

Bernie was the epitome of diffidence, the traditional emotional reticence of the British running right through her core. She had never been one to be forthcoming with her feelings, even with her own children, and the fact that she had been the one to initiate The Kiss was more than she could comprehend. This was not the behaviour one would ever associate with Major Berenice Griselda Wolfe. She didn't know what had come over her. Well no, actually, that's a lie. She knew exactly what had come over her, and she had very much wanted to kiss Serena in that moment... that moment of such intense emotion and vulnerability. But making the first move, making any move was just something she didn't do. She didn't make moves, she reacted to moves made by other people. What if she'd ruined everything? What if she lost her best friend? Oh god they'd become such close friends, what if that had all changed now? They had to work together, all day every day, what if things were awkward and untenable now? What if she'd ruined their beautiful friendship? Oh god...what had she done?!?!

Serena is the polar opposite of British reserve. She is charming, gregarious, flirty and wears her heart on her sleeve when it comes to relationships. She exudes sexuality, knows full well the effect she can have on men and might even have been known to use it to her advantage on occasion. It had never occurred to her that she might have that effect on women too. Well not women, just Bernie... She tried to slow her racing thoughts down to something resembling order. And not 'just' Bernie. There was nothing 'just' about Bernie, that woman was fast becoming her reason for living. She was the reason for the renewed spring in her step as she strode through the car park in a morning, eager to order their usual from Pulses before heading up to their office to settle into their comfortable routine. She was the reason the vascular surgeon's paperwork was stacking up even more then normal as she pinched every opportunity possible to watch her colleague in action. She was the reason for the unmistakable sparkle in her deep brown eyes that everyone had noticed. Bernie... She felt the corner of her lip twitch upwards as she thought about the blonde medic walking beside her and her stomach flipped deliciously.. Oh god how had she not noticed? At 51 years old how had she not noticed herself falling hopelessly in love with her best friend? Her female best friend no less. You're a fool, she thought to herself, a bloody lovestruck fool!! What next though? Never one to shy away from her feelings she knew she wanted to see where this could lead, but how??

The trek back up to their locker room seemed to be taking an inordinate amount of time and still neither of them had made eye contact or uttered a single word. 

 

•°•°•

 

When they finally reached their location Serena pushed through the door, keeping hold of it so that Bernie could follow her in, and closing it purposefully behind them. Thankfully no-one else was in there, so she dropped the latch and turned to face the other. 

"Serena..."  
"Bernie..."

They both started to talk at the same time. Serena let out the breath she didn't know she was holding and allowed a breathy laugh to escape along with it. Who would've thought they'd be standing here in front of each other, nervous as anything and unsure what to say? 

Bernie pressed her lips together in a tight smile and dropped her gaze to the fingers she was anxiously twiddling together. She looked up through her fringe.

"Go on..." she said, figuring if she gave the brunette first go she may not have to say anything at all...may not have to work out how to put into words all that was swirling around her head.

"Bernie..." Serena tried again, taking a brave step forwards and tentatively reaching out her hand to hold on to one of Bernie's. She needed a physical connection if she was going to make it through the next few minutes, and touching the blonde acted like an earthing wire, diverting all the electricity that was flying around her body and distracting her every thought, focusing it on her fingers that burned where they joined. She took a deep breath. 

"I-I-I don't...I-I c-can't...I haven't ever...Oh god I'm not saying this very well am I?" She let out another breathy laugh, trying to keep the atmosphere light as her head dropped and her eyes fell on their connected hands. She grabbed Bernie's free hand and drew them both up to her chest, squeezing gently, trying to convey everything she was struggling to say out loud. She took another deep breath, pressed her lips to the tops of Bernie's knuckles and looked up hopefully. 

"Are you OK? She tried a different tact. 

Bernie didn't respond, she just continued looking at their hands clasped together. 

She looks shell shocked, Serena realised. She's withdrawing...ooh my god what have I done? She thought, and immediately started panicking too. 

"D-do you want to forget that ever happened? W-we can, you know...i-if if that's what...what you...want...?" she didn't want to be going down that path but she had to give Bernie the chance to get out now.

"Should I?" Bernie's words were barely audible as she slowly raised her eyes to look at the brunette before her. 

"I-I don't know...I mean no! N-not if...not if you don't want to... I uh I don't want to forget about it...that's if..I mean, not if you don't..." It all came out as a stuttering stammering mess. When did Ms Serena Campbell, Harvard MBA, Vascular Surgeon extraordinaire and all-round intimidating power woman become so tongue-tied and incapable of verbally expressing herself???

The blonde opened her mouth as if to say something but nothing came out. She cleared her throat and pursed her lips and lifted her head right up, eyes following the pattern of the polystyrene ceiling tiles above her. She took a deep breath and puffed her cheeks as she let it out so very slowly in an attempt to slow her heart rate down. It wasn't working.

Serena could see the multitude of emotions pass across the face of the trauma medic before her. When she watched her stare up at the ceiling she began to panic again that she'd said too much, pushed too hard. 

"Serena..." Bernie knew she had to say something, but where to start? Her hands were still being clasped at the chest of the brunette in front of her and she was trying very hard not to think about how close they were to Serena's breasts because oh what she wouldn't give to be able to stretch out her fingers and ghost them across... She snapped back to reality as Serena squeezed her hands and jiggled them sightly. 

"Look." 

Oh good, Serena was talking again, another reprieve... but oh what is she saying?? And in that sweet little sing song voice she only ever uses between the two of them... 

She took another deep breath and separated Bernie's hands, flattened them both to her chest, directly on her breast bone, and covered them with her own trembling hands. They both gasped at the renewed contact, very much inspite of themselves. 

"C-can you feel that?" The brunette asked. Her heart was pounding out of her chest like a runaway locomotive, there was no way it couldn't be felt from the outside. 

Bernie could concentrate on nothing except the heat radiating from the woman in front of her, the relentless pounding of her heart that was easily palpable through the thin blue cotton of her scrub top. She was terrified. She wanted to believe that the heart she could feel beneath her palms was beating out of desire, out of need, out of want for her, but she couldn't shut up the incessant chatter in her head that said what if she's terrified too but for all the opposite reasons? What if she wants to slam the brakes on but doesn't know how? What if everything is ruined? 

"You." Serena whispered, looking up from where she was still holding Bernie's hands to her chest and searched her face, willing her to make eye contact. This was not going to be a very wordy conversation that much was evident. She pressed her hands into her chest, pushing Bernie's even closer in the process and jolting her back to earth. The blonde eventually looked back and shakily inhaled at the intensity of the gaze she was met with as their eyes connected. Bernie could swear there were actual sparks flying between them at this point. 

"You do that to me." The brunette continued. She wasn't sure what she was saying or where she was going but she'd found a voice and she knew she had to somehow make Bernie understand before she had chance to panic and bolt. "You..." she was interrupted before she could get any more words out. 

"B-but what if...y-you and...you and m-me...w-what about...a-and work...w-what i-if......" Bernie couldn't make herself make any sense and faltered as she felt the sparks fly as their eyes met. Every word she'd ever known promptly jumped out of her head and floated out of the window when the brunette reached up and touched the fingertips of her right hand to the blonde's lips. Her left hand remained pressed tightly over the top of her best friends hands, both still seemingly trying to keep her heart from jumping out of her chest!

Bernie stopped speaking, she just didn't have the words to express everything she was feeling right now. 

The pads of Serena's fingers splayed out across the blonde's lips, fluttering lightly across to climb her cheek and caress her cheekbone. She took a deep breath as she resolved to put an end to this ridiculous hesitation and confusion once and for all. Words just weren't going to cut it this time. Words were not going to be enough. 

She stepped even closer as her right hand continued its dance down the blonde's cheek and curled fingers around the curve of her skull, gently reaching up into her hairline as her thumb rested just in front of her ear. 

"Shhhh" she whispered as she began to lean across. 

Bernie opened her mouth slightly in the hope that comprehensible words would come out only to find her breath stolen by the brunette who was now no more than an inch away and getting closer. 

"Later" Serena said sweetly, smiling her 1000 watt smile that Bernie could swear was reserved only for her. "There is so much time for all of that..." she punctuated the most heartfelt sentence of her life by ghosting her lips across Bernie's before pulling back just a millimeter to say "...later" and she sealed her intentions by pulling the blonde towards her and kissing her so intensely and fiercely there could be no more doubts about what she was feeling and what she wanted.

Bernie couldn't quite believe what she was seeing, hearing and feeling. She had never allowed herself to truly believe that they would ever get here, had consoled herself with the assertion that the beautiful, emotionally intimate friendship that had developed between them would be enough and she could live with that so long as Serena was happy and by her side. But now...now her beautiful best friend had just sent shivvers down her spine when she reached across and caressed her lips and cheek. She had never felt so adored and revered as she did in those too short moments. Before she had chance to revel in the feeling any longer, Serena was leaning over towards her and she felt her knees buckle beneath her as she continued her ministrations with a kiss like no other. 

The blonde couldn't stop the tiny moan from escaping the back of her throat as Serena increased the pressure of their lips together. She parted her lips slightly and dared to suck gently across the top lip of the blonde before her. Another moan, she really couldn't control how her body responded to what was happening, and she realised she really didn't want to anyway. And as she ran the tip of her tongue across the underside of Serena's top lip and heard the brunette react with a strangled moan of her own, she knew that this was all going to be okay.


End file.
